It starts with a photo. You take it, scrutinize it, retake it. The lighting is off, the smile too forced, or you’re showing too many teeth. You scroll through filters until the moment looks better. Not necessarily truer, just better. Closer to the endless flood of perfect images you see online. Then you post, hoping it seems effortless. For something that’s supposed to be instant, it takes a lot of examination and editing to make it appear real.
When students at the School were asked how they represent themselves on social media, the answers revealed a quiet battle between authenticity and perfection. Only 15% said they post authentically, close to how they are in real life. About a third (32%) responded they post somewhat authentically, trying to look real while still polishing the rougher edges. Another 18% said they actively curate an improved version of their lives.
These results suggest the common sentiment that posting online isn’t simply about sharing; it’s about performing. Whether we mean to or not, every angle, pose, caption, or song choice becomes part of an ongoing act. And often, students aren’t even fully aware that they’re curating rather than just sharing. The instinct to choose the most flattering photo and the most popular styles has become so normalized that it feels automatic, less of a performance and rather just how things are done.
Interestingly, most students still keep their posting time relatively short: 58.2% spend less than an hour on a post. Still, even that short time can involve dozens of small choices that turn a moment into something more polished than lived.
The responses also highlighted how beneath every post is an invisible audience we’re trying to please. When asked about how much pressure they feel to curate an “improved” image, only 9.2% said “none,” while the majority (59%) felt at least some pressure. This view reveals how likes and comments, designed to be harmless encouragement or a friendly space for jokes and commentary, can quietly shape how we see ourselves and how we want to be seen by others.
Even further than mere perfection, the “improved” image also requires easy effortlessness, the same kind we scroll past every day. Everyone looks perfect online, so “effortless” has to look perfect too. The more we edit for approval, the more we risk replacing identity for performance.
This conflict of identity can also create an emotional tension known as virtual self-discrepancy (NIH). Constantly exposed to the ideal version of ourselves, many often compare their real self against this image and ultimately find themselves lacking.
Many post to connect, yet what we share often hides the parts of ourselves we fear won’t be liked. That gap between who we are and who we appear to be can leave us feeling more divided.