Prom has a branding problem.
At some point, we collectively decided that prom must be the most important night of our lives. It must be flawless and unforgettable. We see it as a defining milestone. But when a single night carries that much expectation, it stops feeling like a celebration and starts feeling like a performance. As senior Wallace Arney stated, “It’s probably one of the main things you remember when you get older from high school.”
Prom has become an intensely curated event, which leads to a generalized fear of being cringe. There’s so much pressure to pick the perfect dress, the perfect nails, and the perfect matching outfits. After-parties are organized weeks in advance. Instagram captions are drafted before the photos are even taken. By the time prom actually arrives, many of us are already exhausted from trying to reverse-engineer a perfect memory.
Then, during prom itself, people gravitate away from the dance floor for fear of ruining the facade by dancing weirdly or looking like they’re having too much fun.
I would like to propose something different: be chalant.
For those unfamiliar, to be nonchalant is to pretend you don’t care, to stand on the sidelines and act above it all. Arney elaborated, “If you’re nonchalant, you’re actively hurting the experience of other people; you’re trying to seem cool or trying to seem above everyone else.” Senior Ani Kadlic agreed, “Being nonchalant means you’re too scared of what other people think to participate.”
To be chalant, on the other hand, is to care, to show up fully without turning the night into a performance. It means dancing and actually participating. To Kadlic, it means “not caring about what other people think.” Senior Siwoo Rhie suggested, “Just dance, because no one cares, and suggest music to the DJ.”
At the end of the day, as Kadlic put it, “People overhype it a lot. It’s fun, but it’s just a dance.” It’s not a referendum on your popularity, or proof you are living ‘the best years of your life.’ It is not a final verdict on your high school experience.
There is something freeing about deciding that the night does not have to be legendary to be good. When we stop demanding perfection, we leave room for spontaneity. We leave room for laughter when something goes wrong. We leave room for connection that isn’t staged.
High school already asks a lot of us, academically, socially, emotionally. There are grades to maintain, applications to complete, and expectations to meet. Prom does not need to become yet another arena where we measure ourselves against everyone else.
So be chalant. Care enough to participate. Care enough to show up for your friends. Care enough to enjoy it, but don’t let the night become something you have to manage or perform. The best prom memories won’t come from the most elaborate plans. They’ll come from the moments you didn’t try so hard to manufacture, and those moments only happen when you allow yourself to relax.