Being a Senior with ED Decisions Around the Corner

We all know this time of year can be stressful for seniors with college decisions, finals, and last minute college applications. However, this year brings a new found problem: social media is now one of few ways to share the early college decisions many seniors are about to receive.

I applied early to three schools: two early action (EA) and one early decision (ED). For anyone who is not familiar with the college process, an early decision application means if you are accepted, you have to go. EDs are usually someone’s top choice, as they are binding decisions. And EA’s just mean you apply earlier and hear back earlier, just a helpful way to get the process over with as quickly as possible. On Wednesday, December 9th, I opened my computer to an email from my top school stating I would be getting my decision back that Friday.

While the college process is difficult worldwide, the culture surrounding it at the School does nothing but add to the stress. I asked fellow seniors to describe the college process, and the answers were filled with words like “competitive,” “cutthroat,” “judgmental,” “toxic,” “stress-filled,” and countless other words with similar connotations. Above all else, it is clear the culture at the School surrounding the college process fits right in with the often elitist and competitive environment students experience in daily classes.

In this 2020 pandemic, competitiveness in the college process is at an all time high. With more applicants nationwide, there is more pressure to apply early decision to schools than ever before. There is also more pressure from colleges, as they need to ensure financial security–making it so schools want to accept kids who are certain to attend, not to mention that accepting ED always propels a college’s yield to be higher (the percent of kids admitted who attend) which allows the school to seem more desirable.

This means in these next couple of days, seniors will be hearing back about whether they got into their top choice or not, and let me tell you, it is terrifying.

At an institution like the School, the college process turns into a sort of game: who got into the best schools? One senior said that the college process has “unnecessarily high expectations.” They got asked, “How many Ivies are you applying to?” multiple times. “Here, it’s just assumed people can afford and attend such schools,” they said.

Another student said, “I think a part of that is because people feel like if they don’t go to a top school (like an ivy league), or a school difficult to get into, people are going to think less of them.”

Finally, one senior said, “so many people have made me feel pressured to apply to schools which are more elite or more well known, even when I am not drawn to them in any way. There seems to be so much pressure to see who is the smartest, who got into the best school, whose school choice is embarrassing, etc. Even when I was a sophomore, I remember hearing people talk about a girl who was planning to attend community college. I was so confused. Why was it anybody’s business? Why did it make her any less brilliant or worthy or capable? It makes me mad and I wish the culture regarding the college process was different.”

It is clear the college process can quickly become toxic, but how can we ensure we are not a part of the problem? Once again, due to this pandemic, there is a new, exacerbated level of stress due to social media. Unlike years prior, we are unable to have conversations as we pass each other in the halls, which now leaves us with three ways to share, spread, and hear college updates: posts on social media, texts/calls from friends, or gossip.

With sports recruitments and rolling decisions, some people have already received their decisions. How do I know this? Well, I saw it on social media everywhere–friends posting friends, other friends posting that same person, that person reposting it on their stories. When I saw these I, like many other seniors, was thrilled to see that people have figured out their plans next year and been accepted into one of their top schools.

However, it does not feel quite the same at this particular moment. When I saw sports recruitments and rolling decisions, I was not anywhere close to the day I was supposed to open my letter (or click the link). It still felt like a million miles away. Their decisions did not affect me in any way, but now I’m about to get my decision back. It feels more real, and is making me think: how would I feel if I get rejected and then see hundreds of posts about where people got in? The answer is not good, especially when it feels like I need to compare my worth to theirs.

Yet, I am also thinking: what happens if I get in? Do I not share this information with anyone, in order to avoid causing any negative emotion to my friends and peers? That just feels like over-correcting. When I asked seniors whether they think people should post their college decisions, 32% said “Of course! They should share this awesome accomplishment.” No one outright said “no,” but 28% of answers said “They should share the excitement with just close friends, but please don’t post decisions yet (your own or your friend’s).”

I leave this open to the reader: we all want to be excited about our decisions, and no one wants to be crushed by theirs. So proceed with caution. Personally, I plan on telling a few close friends, people who directly ask me, and then finally, in April–once we have all received our decisions–I will send my decision to the 2021 college decision Instagram page.

I am certain our grade knows all of this already, especially after our class meeting with the college counselors. So, above all else, be kind, be loving, and be understanding. Be proud of yourself and supportive of others. I am so excited to hear where all of you choose to attend, and I wish you all the best with the upcoming decisions.