Satire
April 3, 2024, 2:53 pm No Comments
After being consistently undermined, undervalued, and forced to flip slides during every assembly, co-president Alexander Bruneau has created plans to revolt. Bruneau states, “Richie has been holding the spotlight for too long. Now, it’s my time.”
Bruneau sees the senior dinner as a turning point for him: “While, for most of the year, I was happy to sit by and allow Richie to shine (as I’m not much of a public speaker), his behavior at the senior dinner pushed me over the edge…Richie and I planned on both making toasts that night. But as I patiently waited, Richie went on and on about how much he loved being the ‘president of the student body.’ He never said co-president. He didn’t say it once! I don’t think the term ‘co-president’ is even in Richie’s vocabulary!!”
Bruneau continues, “Ever since that senior dinner, I’ve picked up on more and more disrespect from Richie. At an assembly, for example, Richie was talking about student leadership and he said: ‘One of you guys will be replacing me next year.’ Me? Just me? Of course, he said ‘me.’ It’s never us. To Richie, it’s always ‘me, me, me.’ Does my consistently incredible flipping of Google Slides mean nothing to him?!”
Bruneau then grew emotional, “It’s like nobody even knows that Richie and I hold the same title.” He then continued, reminiscing on the beginning of his term as co-president: “At first it was pretty much equal. I know that for many it seems like Richie has always done everything and I’ve just been pressing slides, but at the beginning, we did all the behind-the-scenes work together. Everything was evenly split, it was great. But now? Now, everything has changed. Now, I need my revenge.”
Bruneau wants the students of the Head Royce upper school to know that once he overturns Richie, he will be the best student body president the school has ever seen. Bruneau is very excited about the possibility of being the only president: “I might just make Richie press all my slides for me. Then maybe he’ll finally understand. Once I overtake him, Richie will have to bow down to me!”
For a month now, Bruneau has been diligently planning his revenge. He hopes to sabotage Richie whenever he can. Whether that be refusing to present his slides, presenting the wrong slides, or flipping through the slides too quickly: Bruneau is refusing to take any more disrespect.
Opinions
Soleil Mousseau '25 October 24
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Soleil Mousseau '25
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