Hayden Thompson Takes Over the School, Then the World

Most people know Senior Hayden Thompson as a kind-hearted school president and a renowned leader of Expos, but over the past few weeks, it has become apparent that she has fooled everyone in order to take power over the School. She has thrown aside her charming persona and unleashed her true cold-blooded motives. As of April 1, Thompson has gotten rid of all Student Council members and established a brutal dictatorship. She can now implement any rule she wants without what she calls “useless” Student Council members standing in her way. 

The first action she took as the sole ruler of the high school was to cut all funding for sports teams except for golf, which she considers “the superior sport.” Additionally, she has implemented a series of changes to Expos. Instead of producing one newspaper per quarter, she has pushed staff to their breaking points, forcing the students to produce one newspaper every week without any hope of getting an extension for their articles.

Her power trip has also impacted how assemblies are conducted. There will no longer be any games or competitions, and every student who arrives even one minute late will be expelled, immediately and with no exceptions. Once students enter the MEW, they must hand their phones to their advisor to keep until the end of the day.

The most interesting move Thompson has taken so far has been the complete removal of the cafeteria. Although many students were surprised by this move due to the fact that Thompson often works in the cafeteria during lunch, she explained that she would be restarting her sixth-grade candy-selling business. “By removing the cafe, I effectively have a monopoly on the whole sugary food market at the School,” Thompson stated. This abuse of power has revealed a lot of sides to Thompson that we have never seen before, but everyone has known from the start that she is all about what she calls “getting that bag.” These money moves should not be too shocking for people who know her best.

Thompson’s abrupt takeover has made the student body question her mental and emotional state, but some students believe this devious plan has been in motion all along. Rumor has it that Thompson has been plotting this power grab ever since she first stepped foot on campus in first grade – when she was just seven years old. By befriending students and teachers throughout the Lower, Middle, and Upper School, she slowly took more control, until her plan was completed during her final year at the School. With only two months left in the school year, there is no telling what she could do next.