Limbo: An Update on What it Means to be a High School Senior

Limbo. Limbo: an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition. It is the only word that can describe where seniors are right now. Limbo.

We [seniors] are all stuck in the same boat: our final moments of high school are passing us faster than we are ready for, but we are anxiously waiting for what’s next. Hence we find ourselves in limbo: living our last days as high schoolers, but not yet as adults.

There are also those of us who are still playing the waiting game with colleges, another, even worse form of limbo, as we obsessively wait for the release of waitlists.  

For those of us who applied early, the wait was over sooner: as early as December for some. From there on out, limbo only got more complex as it became nearly impossible to differentiate the outcomes: those who got in early, those who got rejected early, those who did not apply early. So we, as the senior class, have been walking on our tiptoes for months, avoiding mixing up the groups, or saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.

There is even this same concept of limbo with the way that we are able to interact with our peers. We must navigate college conversations with caution, as this touchy subject can end with someone hurt. For those who did not get in early, the limbo was worsened by the neverending posts of congratulations for acceptances and the nonstop college talk, with a sense of excitement not shared by everyone. 

For those who got in early, either recruitment, Early Action (EA), or Early Decision (ED1) (early decision round one or two), like myself, a new “level” of limbo opened. We were filled with the sheer excitement of knowing where we were going to school and allowed this excitement to take over! This acceptance opened a floodgate of possibilities. 

The day I got into my ED2 school, I joined the Instagram page, the Facebook page, the Groupme group chat. I hosted Zooms and chatted with kids from all over the world who were enrolled at the same university I was. Group chat after group chat filled my life with hundreds of people I will be spending the next four years with. 

The acceptance caused me to put blinders on. I spent hours talking to all my new friends. I would stay up late on zoom calls with people I connected with, talking, playing games, and just trying to get to know each other before school. But this lifestyle was not healthy. I was staying up late every night, falling behind on my school work, ignoring my responsibilities, and totally forgetting about my friends from high school.

I allowed myself to be so focused on what is to come, that I entirely forgot what is right in front of me: my friends who I don’t have much more time with. I spent most of my free time talking to my new college friends rather than my high school peers who I will be leaving soon. I found myself stuck between the two options: the future or the past. And I was so focused on picking one or the other that I didn’t allow myself to live in the present. 

Day by day the excitement started to fade, and I was able to find a balance. I started to spend time with my fellow seniors and realize just how much I am going to miss them. Seeing the faces of nearly the entire senior class walk the hallways was a bittersweet moment. We are leaving, parting ways, going off into the unknown without the ability to fall back on each other as we start our journeys alone. 

Now, I wish this limbo would last a little bit longer. I want enough time to squeeze in all the moments that were stripped from us in this pandemic, to make up the lost time, to create new memories, and to say proper goodbyes. But I could not ask for a better group of kids to be stuck in limbo with. So, here is to two more weeks of limbo. Then more limbo during senior projects. Then more limbo during summer. And here is to the future, whatever that may be.