Passive-Aggressive Zoom Senior: A Day in the Life

8:59 a.m. Awake to morning alarm: it’s a bright and morally sound day. See that my mother forgot to leave fresh breakfast on my bedside table. Make note to delete all contacts and conversations from her phone. 

9:00 a.m. Scroll on Tiktok before joining zoom class. It’s my duty to arrive fashionably late; it keeps teachers on their toes during these hard times. 

9:10 a.m. Teacher requests cameras on. Ew. Don’t want to express annoyance at this request. Later, tell them that the screen share isn’t working when it really is. Most entertaining 5 min of class. 

10:00 a.m. Spanish teacher assigns in-class reading. They share an image of the textbook to prevent copying and pasting into google translate. I plug the pic into a free translator app on my phone. Share it to the class group chat. One small step for mankind. 

10:20 a.m. Put “I <3 SOCIAL DISTANCING” sweatshirt on. I know I’ve made a small difference. 

10:50 a.m. Placed in breakout room. Intentionally ignore classmate waiting for me to respond. They give up and do the work for me: small victory.  

11:20 a.m. Leave in middle of meeting. “Wi-Fi issues.” 

12:00 a.m. Lunch break. Friend calls and says, “Wow I’m surprised you got into that school.” “Well, being a straight A student isn’t for everyone,” I counter. Note he must be jealous of my intelligence. 

12:32 p.m. “Accidentally” blasted WAP while joining mic-on class. Oops.

1:10 p.m. Teacher requests we attend Wednesday bridge day meetings. Left questionably sarcastic note for them on anonymous teacher evaluation form. Feeling inspired to speak MY truth. 

2:00 p.m. Debate logging into Zoom class from phone while driving to McDonalds. I wonder, What would Ronald McDonald do? Continue to consult the ancient deities for their wisdom.

2:05 p.m. Post on story about prioritizing mental health during hard times. I’m lovin’ it. 

3:20 p.m. The school day ends. Just another day of surviving and thriving through a global pandemic, attacks on basic humanity, people who forget to mute, mass shootings, people who still do Snapchat streaks, anti-maskers, taxes, whomever invented candy corn, the Suez Canal crisis, the Ice-in-my-veins trend, global warming, and people who unironically support Charli D’Amelio. Will blame the next unfortunate event on Mercury being in Retrograde. Harambe’s death cursed 2020 and 2021, I write. Pledge to record these hard times in my journal tomorrow.