MISSING: Focus and Motivation… Reward for Return

Dear Teachers,

I hope you are doing well and enjoying the start of the week. Kinda crazy how it’s March again –  almost exactly one year since we left school for the start of distance learning. Who knew it would be this long? I am writing because I want to let you know that some things very important to me have gone missing and are at a high risk of not returning – Focus and Motivation.

Because of this, I regret to inform you that I do not think I will be able to be fully present for the rest of the year. Let me be clear, I am not depressed. I am enjoying many things…hanging out with my friends and family, cross country, painting, and even helping with various chores around the house.

But back to the main topic…It is super hard to even join Zoom, yet alone complete the assigned homework. Sitting in front of a screen for 5 days a week is mentally taxing, especially for someone like me who struggles with ADHD, among other things. Quite frankly it all has become harder and harder to manage. I used to be great at containing the difficulty and mitigating distractions. I rallied in spring of last year and even during 1st semester. However, right after Thanksgiving, parts of me vanished. My Focus is probably traveling around the world sight-seeing right now (I don’t really know because it didn’t let me know it was taking an extended vacation) and my motivation is hiding 6 feet underground in a wooden box. 

School is now super emotionally and mentally draining. To be honest, when I finish the week my body feels a huge sigh of relief and my brain unlocks because I am not dreading school.

The hardest part about the disappearance of my companions Focus and Motivation is that it is really impacting my love for school. I really used to LOVE it. It makes me sad that I used to enjoy going to school every day to see my friends and to talk with my teachers and now I cannot even envision those things. Even at the start of school in August, I woke up with excited anticipation about participating in class, knowing that it would still be distance learning. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but my participation has gone downhill along with my love for school. I honestly don’t know what to do. My brain just shuts down when I start to think about spending any part of what feels like a “30-second” weekend on homework. 

I want you to know that I am really trying hard to locate Focus and Motivation, but I have had no luck. My friends and family have tried to help me too. Even my dog joined the effort. It’s just been too hard to get Focus and Motivation to return home. What used to work for me no longer does, and now I am super anxious that this will cause me to fail. (It’s too bad anxiety didn’t join Focus and Motivation on their hiatus.) I know you might not know what to make of this email and frankly it’s OK. No one really knows how to navigate this pandemic. I just want to let you know I am struggling.

I truly value my education and I love learning. My brain is just overly exhausted. I do not think it is a side-effect from having COVID-19 in August because this seems different from a Covid induced brain fog. Thank you for being super supportive first 1st semester. I really enjoyed your classes. If you happen to spot Focus and Motivation, encourage them to return to me. It’s really hard to navigate school without them.

Sincerely, 

One of the many struggling pandemic students